One of these days, I’ll go to the Met Gala. Until then, I’ll sit at home and eat leftover pizza and teddy grahams and refresh Twitter every five seconds waiting for Rachel Zoe to post another twitpic.
Today I threw it out there that maybe last night’s red carpet wasn’t as amazing as it has been in years past (a side effect of hype, no doubt), and you all FREAKED OUT. But because I’m not about to gush about *gasp* gold sequins or 90s lipstick, I decided to focus on the one lady that actually piqued my interest: Elsa Schiaparelli.
Ok so I’m slightly embarrassed that I only knew her for that one lobster dress prior to “fashion prom” fever, but that’s more than most of the models partying down the street could say last night. Anyway, because I’m a serious investigative journalist I did a little poking around on the Internet and I found THIS AMAZING THING that Racked posted earlier. Not only was Elsa Schiaparelli “that Italian artist who makes clothes,” she was also the world’s smartest woman. Behold, her 12 commandments for women:
1. Since most women do not know themselves, they should try to do so.
2. A woman who buys an expensive dress and changes it, often with disastrous result, is extravagant and foolish.
3. Most women (and men) are colour-blind. They should ask for suggestions.
4. Remember, 20 percent of women have inferiority complexes, 70 percent have illusions.
5. Ninety percent are afraid of being conspicuous, and of what people will say. So they buy a gray suit. They should dare to be different.
6. Women should listen and ask for competent criticism and advice.
7. They should choose their clothes alone or in the company of a man.
8. They should never shop with another woman, who sometimes consciously, and often unconsciously, is apt to be jealous.
9. She should buy little and only of the best or the cheapest.
10. Never fit a dress to the body, but train the body to fit the dress.
11. A woman should buy mostly in one place where she is known and respected, and not rush around trying every new fad.
12. And she should pay her bills.
Which of course makes me re-evaluate my whole life. Like, do I have an inferiority complex? Am I conspicuous? Should I be?! The last thing I bought was a not cheap, not expensive lime green dress from LOFT. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
Happy Tuesday, dearies.